selah mae :: the name

Selah Mae.

Such a beautiful name.

A God-given name.

The story behind Selah’s (Say-La) name actually begins last May of 2012. At this point, Derrik and I were trying to conceive baby #2. Unlike TTC with Bella, the process took longer than 1 month…I was growing unnecessarily impatient. It had been a few months. I was trusting the Lord with His timing…but like I said…I was impatient.

Derrik was attending the EDGE Corps Trainers’ Summit at Glen Eyrie. I would try to join at meals. Our dear friend and former boss, Bill, was one of the trainers. Out to dinner one night, Bill asked us what we were learning in our time with Lord. I honestly don’t remember what I said, but I will never forget what Derrik said. Derrik told Bill how he had been reading through the Psalms. He shared how he had been focusing on the word “selah” and what it meant. From his understanding, it meant to pause and feel the weight of what was read. I resonated with what he said. I was at a point where I truly needed to “pause”. I needed sit before the Lord and stop being so anxious about this whole baby thing. As he shared, I felt the Lord speaking directly to me (I love how the Lord used my husband in that moment – we are truly tied together). After he finished sharing, I made a comment that selah was a pretty name. Derrik mentioned that he thought we had friends with a little girl named “Selah”. I told him we did. He said he really loved the name too.

In that moment (and I get chills as I write this), I felt the Lord whisper in the very depths of my heart that we would conceive a baby…a baby girl…and her name would be Selah. It was one of those times that looking back, I know it was the Lord but in the moment, I wondered if it was just the desires of my own heart speaking. Later that night, I told Derrik that I thought we would end up with a baby girl named Selah.

This continued to be on my heart when we got pregnant. The more and more pregnant I got, I knew in my deepest heart of hearts that we were having a girl. I never wanted to say it out loud…mostly because a fear of being wrong. What if I had convinced everyone we were having a girl…and I turned out to be wrong? I never like “guessing” for that reason. The only person (outside of Derrik) that I told the whole story to was my mama. I would tell people that I didn’t have a “feeling” either way about what we were having but if I had to guess, I would say girl. Many others thought we were having a girl too.

There were several things that made this pregnancy a “pause and feel the weight of” pregnancy. The back pain I experienced really forced me to slow down. It humbled me immensely. I literally had no choice but to sit. The pain had me calling out to the Lord. The closer I drew to the end of pregnancy, I felt a theme of my life and time with Lord was allowing Him to sustain me. He continued to ask me to pause and look to Him.

With a long, hard, labor. Selah Mae came into the world. It was a labor that had me calling on the Lord, begging Him to sustain me. Soon after the labor came a short stint with jaundice. It was another instance that the Lord called me to trust Him. It caused me to pause and remember the Lord’s goodness. How fitting. Selah – to pause and feel the weigh of.

Selah Mae. Mae is a family name…after my Grandma, Ella Mae. I love family names. Not to mention Selah Mae sounds beautiful together. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.