Oh how I’ve been anxious to write all of this experience down! My heart wants to remember every detail and not forget a single one. Here is Selah Mae’s birth story. It’s lengthy because I didn’t want to miss anything.
My birth story starts where my last post ended. Tuesday, I had my membranes stripped and I was so curious to see if it would bring labor or not. The midwife commented on how low the baby was and that I must have felt like I had a bowling ball between my legs. However, after she stripped my membranes, I felt like the baby dropped even lower…I was seriously uncomfortable. Tuesday night (well technically Wednesday morning), I woke at 3 am with contractions. They were coming regularly and I decided after about 30 minutes to time them. The contractions were uncomfortable, enough to keep me awake and I thought that this might be the “real deal”. I found out they were mostly 8 minutes apart, sometimes 10 and lasting for about 1 minute. I text my mom who normally wakes up at 4:30 on the weekdays to let her know. I got a text back around 5:30 and then we chatted on the phone. I told her that they hadn’t gotten any closer together and that I was going to try to go back to bed. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I returned to bed and wrestled with thoughts and the pain of contractions until 6:30ish when I finally fell back asleep.
I woke at 8:00 with no more contractions.
As I headed to my chiropractic appointment, I wrestled in my heart about the start and stop of contractions. Part of me was grateful that I wasn’t beginning labor yet and part of me had hoped it would happen soon. My chiropractor adjusted me and we joked that it might be the last time before baby came. I told him I thought I was in labor the night before but that it was a false alarm. I had an appointment scheduled for the following Monday and he told me he would “maybe” see me then.
Later that day (Wednesday), I decided that since I had been up so much the night before, I should take a nap. I was really tired and laid down around 3:00, hoping to get a little rest. As soon as I laid down, my little baby got the hiccups. Go figure. I was almost asleep when a familiar sensation started up once again: contractions. Yes, they had started again and were consistent, about 8-10 minutes apart. Again I wondered if this were the real deal. I talked with my mom and she suggested we make our way to their house. I was hesitant because I didn’t want to head north if this was another false alarm. After talking it over with Derrik, we decided to go and that he should come too. We had thought that maybe Derrik could attend Nav Night but it became clear that I shouldn’t necessarily drive in my condition. So we got Isabella ready for bed, packed up, and headed north.
We arrived at their house around 9:00. I put Isabella to bed as an only child for the last time. She had no idea that the next day she would meet her baby sister. Derrik and I chatted a little with my parents before we showered and headed to bed. I was asleep by 11:00 pm (I wish it had been earlier) still experiencing contractions about 8-10 minutes apart with a few closer together. By this point, I had been having contractions for 8 hours.
At 1:30, the contractions woke me up. I started to find that they were getting more difficult. I would groan in pain through them. Derrik heard me and woke up. He asked me if it was time. I timed a few of the contractions. They were still 8 minutes apart but by 2 am, they were closer – 5-6 minutes apart. I told him it was time to get ready and to call the midwife. We got ourselves ready to go. I then went to wake my mom. I told her it was time and that we would leave within the half hour. My dad woke up with my mom super excited. Derrik called the midwife and she asked some standard questions: “How far apart were my contractions?” “How long were they lasting?” and finally “Do you think its time to come?” Derrik filled her in. I finished getting myself ready – putting my hair up and slappin’ on some waterproof mascara. Call me vain, but I wanted to look decent in my labor/birth pictures. By the time we left, my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart. It was a 50 minutes drive to birth center…
The car ride wasn’t too bad. Derrik, my mom, and I would have conversation in-between contractions. During contractions, I would have to focus. I would start my contraction timer app on my phone, breath/groan through a contraction, and then stop the timer. My mom thought it was very comical the way I would go from such pain to looking down at my phone. That app was very handy! Thankfully, because it was 3 in the morning, there was no traffic.
We arrived just before 4 am. I had to pause in the parking lot to breath/groan through another contraction. We made our way up to the birth center and “checked in”. The midwife on call at the time was the same one who had stripped my membranes just the day before. Once we were in our room, the “Log Room”, the midwife, Molly checked me. I was 5 centimeters dilated and 90% effaced. I remarked that I was halfway there; Molly assured me I was more than halfway. She said she didn’t know if she would be the one to deliver my baby or if it would be the next midwife at the shift change at 6 am. Molly encouraged me to keep moving for the next hour. Honestly, moving was the last thing I wanted to do. Sitting, squatting, and kneeling sounded better. So I started kneeling by the side of the bed on some pillows during contractions.
This went on till about 5 am. I had developed a way to deal with my contractions by breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth. Often a “Help me Jesus” would accompany my exhale. Derrik and my mom were helping by applying counter pressure on my back. I was experiencing some back labor which I anticipated given my back problems during pregnancy and how they flared up after the baby dropped.
At 5 am, I had Derrik ask the midwife if I could get in the birthing pool. I couldn’t wait to get into the water. I wasn’t positive going into this natural birth if I would end up with a water birth but I was pretty sure that’s how things would go. The water was amazing. The pool is heated and it truly felt like heaven. Once in the pool, I got in the “zone”. With each contraction, I would face the edge of the pool and squat or frog leg squat. Derrik or my mom would apply counter pressure on my low back. I would inhale through by nose and then exhale out my mouth, usually through my lips (like a horse) followed by a “Help me Jesus”. Once the contraction was over I would turn over and stretch out in pool and just relax, letting my arms and legs float. Every once in awhile the midwife would check the baby’s heart rate with the underwater doppler. Each time, it was strong, 140-150.
The longer labor went on, the harder it became (usually the case with labor). My back labor increased and I remember talking about how much it ached. The counter pressure really helped. The midwife showed Derrik how to most effectively apply counter pressure by making a fist and pressing it against the small of my back. It felt like he couldn’t press hard enough. After it was was all said and done, Derrik’s forearm was very sore and I had a bruise on the small of my back.
Between 6 am and 10 am, several things happened, though I’m not exactly sure when or in what order… so here’s a summary of it all.
The shift change came around 6. Apparently, there hadn’t been a birth in 5 days, and that morning there were 3 of us in labor. I blame the full moon and the pressure change from the weather change. They also had midwife issues. I went through 4 midwives while I was there. My original left at the scheduled shift change. Then I guess they had to call in extra because of how many of us were there. Also, one ended up having jury duty and someone else had a sick kid. It was all very complicated. They all stayed with me for awhile but I ended up with Laura as my midwife and Heather as my nurse….and they were phenomenal. I feel very blessed to have had them!
I suppose its to be expected, but with multiple women in labor in a small area, you are bound to hear others laboring. There was a lady in labor who was…very…vocal. She was screaming quite a bit. (I actually met her days later and she told me she was “the loud one”). Derrik tried to make sure the door to our room was closed so we didn’t hear her screaming at full volume. She was saying things like “Oh God!” “My back!!” “Owwwww” and “AHHHHHH”. Honestly, it didn’t bother me much. I was focused on my own contractions. Although, I was eagerly anticipating the cry of a newborn (for her sake!). When that sound came, it encouraged me that we were getting closer and it would be my baby that would be crying soon!
At some point, the midwife checked me to see my progression. I was at 9 cm (probably around 7 am). Some time around then, the midwife (I’m not sure which one) told me that I could start pushing a little with each contraction. At this point in labor, I no longer would stretch out and relax during the break in between. I would just rest my head on the side of the pool and close my eyes. I squatted most of the time but I was getting very tired. I tried hands and knees for a short time. I would try to push a little with each contraction but didn’t really feel the “urge”. To keep my energy up, I would eat apple slices and cheese and crackers (a HUGE bonus to not being in the hospital!!) and drink lots of water.
Around 7:30 I think, my contractions started to slow down. They decided to give me a tincture of cotton root bark to help stimulate my uterus and hopefully pick up the contractions. One thing I loved was they completely informed me and asked my permission before doing anything. They explained it all to me. I took the tincture a total of 6 times over the next hour and a half, I think.
Sometime after, I got serious about pushing. The midwife, Laura, had checked me and I was “complete”. I positioned myself more in the middle of the tub and started to push with each contraction. Laura was keeping track of my progress. She placed a mirror underneath me and would shine a flashlight on it to check my progress. I distinctly remember Laura telling me that this was the point where I needed to “choose to walk across the coals”. I needed to choose the pain….I didn’t want to but I knew I needed to. I pushed and pushed but I didn’t feel like I was making any progress but she assured me I was. The whole time this was happening, my water bag was intact. Pushing was incredibly hard and very painful. There was so much pressure and pain. My composed breath in and out had turned into a loud, low grunt/yell. Laura asked me if I wanted to touch my baby’s head and for some reason I said no. She wanted me to know that I was definitely making progress. Part of the reason I didn’t feel like I was making progress was that my contractions were still spaced out. I would push and push and push. Then I would have to wait 5-6 minutes to push again…it was terrible. I wanted to be finished and have that baby in my arms. But each time I pushed, the contraction wouldn’t last long enough for me to get that baby out.
After pushing for awhile, Laura offered me a choice. She told me she thought my uterus was tired. She was concerned that my contractions hadn’t picked up yet and she thought that breaking my water would help and that my baby would come soon after. She presented me with the risks: meconium, in which case they would have to transfer me, and cord prolapse. Laura told me the risk of cord prolapse was small because the baby was already so far down in my birth canal. I agreed that breaking the water was best. To do so, I needed to get out of the tub. That was VERY difficult. It hurt so much (considering there was a baby in my birth canal). Derrik and the nurse helped me over to the bed where I laid down on my side. Derrik held my leg up in the air and the midwife told me they would break it with the next contraction. She broke my water and told me it was clear. They then helped me back into the water. I think this all happened around 9:45.
Immediately my contractions picked up. Pushing was a lot harder. The pressure was greater since there was no bag of water providing a bit of a cushion. Laura reminded me that I needed to choose to walk across the coals and choose the pain. I pushed so hard. She would remind me to “let it go” as the contraction would end and I would try to keep pushing. As each contraction ended, I would get discouraged that my baby wasn’t here yet. I remember telling myself I needed to give it my all and choose pain. I told myself if I did so, my baby would be here and the pain would be over. I reached down and felt the top of my baby’s head. I buckled down and pushed harder the next contraction. I knew we were close. One more push, and the baby’s head was out. She told me to push once more and the babies body came out as well. I was in a daze. I actually did it. I pulled my baby out of the water with my midwife’s help and onto my chest. I sat there trying to comprehend all that had happened. It took me 30 seconds to decide to check and see what we had….another precious girl! She was here! Our Selah had arrived at 10:11 am!
The midwife had told me sometime before I gave birth, that they wanted to give me a shot of pitocin after the baby was born. She thought that my uterus was very tired and that I might be at risk for hemorrhage. I agreed. I sat in the tub for a few minutes while the midwife checked to see if my placenta was ready to come. It wasn’t. They then helped me to the bed. I laid down and then with a little push, my placenta came. Having that baby on my chest was amazing. At the birth center, they leave the cord attached for about an hour or so. There is no rush to take the baby to weigh her. They check her vitals while she is on my chest. She tried to nurse right away. She did the “breast crawl” searching for the goods. They told me to try to let her find it herself. Selah was getting very frustrated so eventually I helped her out a bit. She nursed like a champ. She was also completely alert. Her eyes were so bright and open. Another bonus of a drug free birth. I was exhausted but so very at peace and very, very happy. I would describe the feeling as “bliss”.
A few things happened after I gave birth. The midwife had to sew me up (I required a few stitches down and 7ish up). Laura told me that she had thought Selah was posterior by the way my labor was going. She thinks she turned at the last minute. They brought me a snack – I was starving! My mother-in-law came to the center to meet her granddaughter. After about an hour, they took Selah to do all of the checks: weight, height, reflexes, etc. Derrik got his daddy time with her. They prepared a nice herbal bath for me and Derrik came and sat by the tub with our new bundle. Our little family was happily exhausted. I realized my legs felt like jello…probably from squatting for hours. After the bath, we all got ready to go home, slowly. We were tired…I was sore. Our moms dressed Selah Mae and my mom helped me dress. We then loaded up and headed home to my parent’s house!
I truly loved my birth. I was in labor for a long time (19 hours from start to finish). It was so very hard. There was definitely pain. But I would do it all over again the same way. Contractions were very painful but doable. Pushing, on the other hand, is an experience I am glad I have a few years to forget. Despite that, this experience was very healing for me. I had great care. I was informed. My body did it. Selah Mae arrived happy and healthy. She was alert from the beginning. I got to go home and be with both my babies. Truly special. For me, it was the perfect choice.
A common theme in my spiritual walk during my third trimester was relying on the Lord to sustain me. He was so faithful and my trust in Him grew. Labor and delivery was a huge extension of that. He sustained me throughout and I felt Him calling me to rely on Him each contraction through the birth. My faith, trust, love, and gratitude grew to new depths.
Thank you Jesus for the gift of life. Thank you for sweet Selah Mae. Thank you for protecting her and myself. I am grateful to you for this experience. I praise you for your faithfulness and provision of strength. You are gentle and good. Amen
hummelstudios
Beautiful Jamie! Being able to have the birth you want is such a blessing. Enjoy your girls! Having two sisters is wonderful, but I may be partial đŸ™‚
aruffledheart
I am so proud of you Jamie! I love your family and little Selah Mae is precious.